Curvily Yours: Class #2

It really is strange being back in my "home" class and only knowing a few other people in it. Tonight was especially unnerving because the only girl I really knew was my old-time gal Ms Soarer. There were a few other girls that I had met recently. One being the girl who went through all my paperwork with me to sign back up for classes. The other, a girl who had been in the same teacher training tryouts as me.

I've been having a hard time reconnecting to class, maybe because my expectations and the reality of class are very different spaces. I remember someplace, warm, welcoming, and safe. But this new class hasn't lived up to that yet. With different girls in class each week it's hard to garner the support and camaraderie that I am not only used to, but expect to be there. I did enjoy our warm-up, but the pole conversations that we had felt one sided. And once again Ms Soarer was paired with me and another girl. I don't think this combo is working very well and I think I will have a chat with Mrs Suavity about it before class next week.

My personal dance this week was to Waiting for the End by Linkin Park.



It was interesting. Again, I could feel the frustration mounting throughout the song. There were moments when I broke free of it, but they felt fleeting. I think that it stemmed from having injured me ankle this past Sunday and feeling as though I can't trust my body. Not that it was actually my body's fault for once.

So many things to work out. Lots of mental merry-go-rounds pulsing through my head. I suppose to that end the lyrics of this song were fairly fitting.

This is not the end,This is not the beginning,Just a voice like a riotRocking every revisionBut you listen to the toneAnd the violent rhythm,Though the words sound steady,Something empty's within 'em,
We say "Yeah!"With fists flying up in the air,Like we're holding onto somethingThat's invisible there,'Cause we're living at the mercy ofThe pain and the fearUntil we dead it, forget it,Let it all disappear.
Waiting for the end to come...Wishing I had strength to stand...This is not what I had planned...It's out of my control....
Flying at the speed of lifeThoughts were spinning in my head.So many things were left unsaid.It's hard to let you go...
(Oh!) I know what it takes to move on,I know how it feels to lie,All I wanna doIs trade this life for something new,Holding on to what I haven't got
Sitting in an empty roomTrying to forget the pastThis was never meant to last,I wish it wasn't so...
(Oh!) I know what it takes to move on,I know how it feels to lie,All I wanna doIs trade this life for something newHolding on to what I haven't got!
What was left when the fire was gone?I thought I found right but that right was wrong.All caught up in the eye of the storm.I'm trying to figure out what it's like - moving on.And I don't even know what kind of things I've said,My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead.So picking up the pieces, now, where to begin?The hardest part of ending is starting all again.
All I wanna doIs trade this life for something new,Holding on to what i haven't got!..
This is not the end,This is not the beginning,Just a voice like a riotRocking every revisionBut you listen to the toneAnd the violet rhythm,Though the words sound steady,Something empty's within 'em(Holding on to what I haven't got!)
We say "Yeah!"With fists flying up in the air,Like we're holding onto somethingThat's invisible there,'Cause we're living at the mercy ofThe pain and the fearUntil we get it, forget it,Let it all disappear!(Holding on to what I haven't got!) 

Portrait Painting SMC: Class #4

Hurray! We finally got to take an entire class to sketch and paint the model. I'm still not quite getting the technique that my instructor is using but I was happy with the results from today's class.

The initial sketch

The end painting

Aww

I just watched a hummingbird take a bath outside my window. It was using the water droplets on my rosebush's leaves. So cute! Sometimes it's just the little things that make you smile. 

Curvily Yours: Class #1

That's right my friends, yours truly finally officially started back at her pole classes. It was a very interesting experience. Kind of like starting at a new school. My class still has a few of my girls in it. But there are a lot of new faces to get used to. New energies to figure out. One of the girls who is "new" to my class is one of my life long pole friends. She and I took classes together in the very beginning and all through the middle. Sadly Ms Soarer and I haven't been in the same class for probably about 4 years. Sure we have had run-ins over that time. A make-up class together here and there, chance meetings at our studios dance-a-thons. But it's different, and frankly we both dance completely different than we did 4 years ago. So the next few weeks will be a learning curve for me. Finding my place in the class. Meeting new ladies. On a happy note, my body is stronger than I thought it would be. I didn't do anything too crazy. But I can tell that the strength in my arms has returned as well.

For my dance I chose one of the studios suggested songs for the week "Underneath" by Adam Lambert. I wasn't sure with this being my first dance back, just how it would go. Would I love the song? Hate it? Would I be able to connect?



I'm happy to say that although initially I didn't really feel myself sinking into the song, eventually the annoyance and anger at the song built to a level that I was able to let it out. So it was unexpectedly a great dance for me. A bit all over the place and I felt like I had so much to say I wasn't even sure what to let out first! Fortunately, I don't do a whole lot of thinking while I dance, so most of that was subconscious. It was great to be back. I'm looking forward to my next class, but I might just wait until my regular class time next week to take it. Trying really hard not to push myself too fast. Not an easy feat since I just want to go, go, GO! I love being active again. It felt exquisite to move and bend and stretch my body. To feel the rhythms and beats pouring through my soul. It's good to be home. 

Curvily Yours: Latest Dr Appt

I got CLEARED!!! Much to the chagrin of family and friends. I think that the only person as excited about the fact as I am is Mr Mine.

I had my final MRI on Feb 20. I was happy that it was not nearly as grueling as the first one that I had back in July of last year. I was in and out within an hour. I even got street parking so I didn't have to pay. On Feb 22, I went in and met with Dr. Perri to go over my results. To make doubly sure they even took another set of x-rays that day. The words " you should have no problems going forward" were music to my ears. I don't think that the ordeal is absolutely completely behind me. My back is still not as flexible as it used to be which is something that is hard to get used to. I am hoping that once I am back to taking my classes regularly a lot of that flexibility will return. I'll keep you posted!

Wooohoooo! Free at last!

Portrait Painting SMC: Class #3

Phew, painting class is exhausting. I'm beat. Today instead of using the limited Zorn palette we added a bunch of additional colors.

Today's Palette.

New Palette Colors:

Raw Siena
Burnt Umber
Violet
Ultra Marine Blue
Veridian Green
Alizarian Red
Cadmium Yellow Light

I wish our classes were four hours long instead of three. That extra hour would really make all the difference. Every week I  feel rushed to try and finish my paintings. I think it's also a matter of I haven't done much sketching in the past few years so I'm pretty rusty too.

Figure drawing was never one of specialties but I am really enjoying this class. Even being rushed it is fantastic to just be painting every week. I still feel really far behind the rest of the people in class, but I am trying not to judge myself too harshly. Trying to accept where I am and just acknowledging that I have a long way to go.

Initial Sketch and "underpainting" start.

Final Painting end of class.

Final Painting by Instructor:

Not just the hair

For the past few weeks it seems as if everyone and their mother has commented on my haircut. Which by the way is the same haircut I have had since November. Only it grew out a bit and I just had it reshaped. 

No, no people, it's not just the haircut that you are reacting to. You're also reacting to the fact that I have lost 17.8 lbs since Martin Luther King Day. My face is thinner, I'm overall a lot leaner and THAT is why you currently are amazed at how awesome I look! Nope, definitely not just the haircut. 

But thanks for all the compliments just the same :) They really do make a girl's day! 

Portrait Painting SMC: Class #2

Every class starts with our teacher telling us what we will learn this lesson, a few extra pointers, and then a demonstration on what we will be doing. This week we were going to go a step beyond our value paintings of last week. Today we were tackling the Zorn palette. Which is a limited palette technique named after Anders Zorn. Limited meaning we were only allowed to use the following four tubes of paint to create all of the colors necessary for our painting:

Ivory Black

Titanium White

Yellow Ochre

Cadmium Red Light

She told us this was an excellent way for us to learn how to mix the colors for flesh tones. I have to agree. I don't have the colors right yet, but I can definitely see where I would find them if I continue to work within this palette.

Initial Sketch

Final painting end of class.

Progress so far.

Portrait Painting Homework I

There is something exceptionally daunting about a blank canvas. Even when you know what you are going to paint. It's just at the moment of actually starting I have this spiking fear of failure. Which I admit is ridiculous. Because really who is around to judge me other than myself? And why should I WANT to judge me? Painting classes have made me realize that I have unrealistically high expectations for myself when it comes to doing new things. This is where I think that the description for "Capricorn" actually finally rings true for me. I'm a perfectionist. Which is horrible, because I don't give myself space to grow. To start off awful at something and work hard to become better at it. I have a history of "trying" things and then quitting them. I'd like to change this fact about me so you'll likely see me hammering away at attempting to paint and learn photograpy this year. These two things are my focus. 

So upon the ending of my first oil painting class our teacher suggested that we go home and that sometime during the week we attempt to paint a self portrait. So in keeping with my resolution this year to really try. Here is my attempt:

All set up and ready! Now, the hard part, that first stroke.

The final product. Wish I had thought to take a few inbetween shots.

Well, I think I captured some likeness, but I need to work on values. It will be interesting to see how the next one turns out. I will just have to keep trying.