M: Mental R: Rigor I: Incident

I've had ankle MRI's and knee MRI's, but this was my first back MRI. My first time being put all the way into what felt like a 2 ft wide tube, well really like a 2 in tube but we all know that would just be ridiculous. Let me put it this way, they crossed my arms over my chest and when they put me all the way in, my elbows brushed the sides. Yikes!

So for those of you who have never had an MRI before there is really only one rule. DON'T MOVE. Which may not seem like a big deal, until you realize they mean don't move for a half hour, or in this case 50 minutes. They also give you headphones so that they can communicate with you as well as play music for you to help with the noise. Which is great except I don't know that there is anything in the world that can drown out the sound of an MRI machine once it gets going. Initially it sounds like a catchy beat, but then it gets faster and more punctuated and it feels a bit like your heart is beating out of your chest. OR, I suppose that could have been my pulse racing since the sound eventually starts to freak me out. Not to mention it makes you feel a little like you are going crazy.

Once I was inside there was really only one thing for me to do. I closed my eyes and pretended I was in a huge cavernous room. Whenever the infernal beeping started and I could no longer hear the music, I started singing Christmas Carols to myself. This also helps you keep a rough estimate of how much time is passing by. If you figure each Carol to last about 3 min. Why Christmas Carols? Well, they are one of the few sets of songs that were drilled into my head at such an early age that the lyrics are easy to recall under pressure. I also threw in some positive affirmations to try to calm my frazzling nerves.

I should have mentioned to them that when they tell you that "you're doing great, you only have about 15 minutes left" they should realize that when that stretches to 20 or even 25 minutes you think that you are going to crazy if it doesn't Stop Right Now. And a lot more breathing exercises are necessary to pull you through.

I highly recommend when you get an MRI that you make sure that you are in the most comfortable position possible. Especially make sure that your back is lying flat on the table. You don't want to have to hold a slight arch for 50 minutes! Ugh.