Ticking Claws

Depression has claws. And they seem to be stuck in me. I don't even really feel depressed. I more feel...compressed. Like agitated energy that wants to explode but has no way of doing it. No soccer, no dance, I can't even go into a cleaning frenzy. My hands are tied, or my back is rather. I feel as though I am a paraplegic even though I can walk. It's hard to follow rules when the pain is not a reminder. You see, I don't have pain except in certain positions. Which are only a small part of the things I have been told I cannot do. I feel anxious and angry. Stubborn, I want to go running, lift weights, do pull-ups and everything else that has been denied me these past few months. Five more weeks until I get to see the doctor. It makes me want to pull out all my hair in frustration.